There’s something magical about receiving a gift. Perhaps it’s the gift itself, or the excitement in unwrapping the mystery, maybe even the heartfelt appreciation for the gift giver. Ending the 2014 year and celebrating the holiday season, I received one of the best gifts EVER! This gift is one that continues to give each and every day that I use it, and it’s free!

I, like many of you, enjoyed Oprah’s talk show, and absolutely loved her great holiday Favorite Things Giveaway. Not only did the audience go ballistic in joy, but Oprah beamed with happiness and gratitude in her ability to share with others. And so, like the great Oprah, I would like to share with all of you this tremendous gift I received; let me admit that I received this incredible gift from no other than Oprah herself! Damn, that woman is an amazing powerhouse!

So here it is… people (your spouse, significant other, children, friends, coworkers, clients, employees, acquaintances), ALL people want the same thing—to be seen, to be heard, and to know that they matter. Yes, this sounds simple and probably obvious to most, but to truly integrate this information into your daily thoughts and interactions with other human beings is where the gift begins.

Let’s start internally. We all complain about something or someone at some time. You stop and ask yourself, do I feel seen or heard? Do I feel like I matter? In answering these questions, you are already on the path to solving your own problem. Let’s take an external look too. When someone is complaining, frustrated, or angry, before you react to the words firing at you, take a step back and ask yourself, can you see their emotion over their words? Are you showing that person that you hear them? Do they matter to you and if so, do they know it? The time to ponder these questions is just enough time to allow you to catch your breath and disengage in a battle that need not be fought.

Compassion and empathy are great benefits of this tremendous gift. Clarity and acceptance come as well. Recognizing that, perhaps, the person in pain is not someone you want to invest in and, rather than perpetuating the misery, you choose to walk away. Whatever the outcome, whatever your answers are, asking yourself these three questions gives you perspective, understanding, and movement to resolution—wrap that up and tie it in a bow!

A piece of peace, what could possibly be better?

Please accept this gift and pay it forward. I would also like to thank all of you for your wonderful feedback on my new website. It’s an accurate reflection of my strong conviction in justice, integrity, and having a playful sense of humor!

I’m here to answer your questions, develop a strategy, and secure your future.